Being a mom has been the greatest gift. It is, quite frankly, the epitome of being the most unselfish you will ever be. To actually grow a human in your body, give birth, and raise that human is an honor I don’t think I will ever take for granted.
This is the very same reason I don’t want to simply survive motherhood—I want to enjoy every piece of it.
And this is not to say there won’t be seasons where you are literally just surviving.
When I Was Just Surviving (Two Under Two)
My first five months of two under two I would never wish on anyone. I was in survival mode. I had to be.
Our baby had just turned one, and two days later I was in the hospital having another baby via C-section.
Our second had horrible milk and soy allergies, which meant I was with a screaming, crying baby who barely took in any milk. It was devastating not to be able to help or provide any type of relief. We couldn’t figure out what the heck was going on, and doctors kept pushing breastmilk.
I had to learn how to put two babies down at the same time. I literally Googled it. You will figure out what works for you, and unfortunately one of them will cry.
I dreaded nighttime. I never slept. I would just listen for the first cue that the baby was waking up and rush over so he wouldn’t wake our one-year-old toddler, who incidentally was having an insanely hard time with the transition.
Add a slew of hormones, and well… postpartum was just absolutely delightful.
Through all this chaos we were getting Red Juniper up and running and moving into a new home we knew was temporary.
I would spend my little free time searching for other moms with the same experience, but all I could find were beautiful videos and images of moms with their babies—and bonus points if siblings bonded immediately.
Meanwhile, I didn’t know what the hell was happening and felt like I was failing at everything.
So I made a decision: I was going to thrive, not just survive.
My Saving Grace: Leave the House
My mom actually gave me the best advice—well, second-best advice—when I had my first baby:
Leave the house every day.
Even if it’s just for a car ride or an errand. Just leave the house.
I’ll admit I didn’t take that advice with my firstborn. I was too in my thoughts. What if people judge me?**
The diaper bag, the bottles—it all felt overwhelming. I laugh now.
But with two under two, I took that advice and started figuring things out on my own.
The tantrums. The crying. Juggling two kids out in public. Excuse my language, but my fks literally went out the window.
I started with small outings like Costco. I joke, because this is definitely not a small outing and 10/10 do not recommend. I came home almost in tears.
So I did it again. And again.
Errands, parks, restaurants. I traveled into the city. Basically anything I needed to do, my two goobers were coming with me and we were going to figure it out together.
It’s not easy—but it’s not meant to be easy.
Not every outing went as planned. We would have good days and *what the hell was that about *kind of days.
But here’s the thing about choosing to live your life and thrive with your kids: if you start off on the wrong foot, you can always pivot and make it better. If it’s a complete shitstorm, you can always come home and try again another day.
And if you’re worried about being judged by someone you will literally never see again—let me repeat—you will literally never see them again.
So give yourself some grace.
Why I’m Sharing This
Because I want to be the story you find when you’re having a bad day.
If you’re in the thick of things right now—postpartum, two under two, or just motherhood in general—and only seeing the wonderful side of everyone else’s story, just know:
It’s not just you.
It’s so easy to share all the wonderful things, but it’s the messy middle that really molds you into who you are—or who you will be.
I’m grateful for the experience because it changed my tolerance for minor discomforts. I don’t sweat the small stuff in public spaces anymore, and overall I’m a more confident mother.
But I’ll never forget being in the thick of things, and I know the importance of transparency—especially in motherhood.
Motherhood isn’t always the picture-perfect moments you see online. Sometimes it’s chaos, exhaustion, figuring things out as you go, and learning to laugh about it later.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: motherhood doesn’t have to just be about surviving the hard seasons.
Sometimes choosing to thrive simply means getting out the door, bringing your kids along for the ride, and figuring it out together.
